To everything there is a season… 

(Eulogy delivered by Brod Victor O. Ramos, Chairman/President of the UP Beta Sigma Fraternity

Alumni Association, Inc. during the final rites for Brod Joaquin Tamano UPD’54 on January 14,

2006 at the Funeraria Paz Chapel A1)

            Ecclesiastes or the preacher said it most eloquently: “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: A time to be born, and a time to die; … A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance; …A time to keep silence and a time to speak.”

            For Brod Jake Tamano, something must have told him that on December 3, 2005 it was time to say goodbye.

We had a fellowship in Los Banos so that we could have a more current picture for a yearbook. Surprisingly, he came. He would normally not be seen on such informal occasions, because not many of his batchmates would be there. He would not recognize many of the young brods who normally frequent these get-togethers. Still he came. He introduced himself to us. We were pleased that we had a representative from the ‘50s. He was the oldest among us from Diliman. At first, he was a bit uneasy because he knew no one from his generation. But not long after, he got into good mood. He joked about getting lost on his way to the site.

            Looking back now, I felt that it was as if he came to say goodbye. Why come and travel for hours just for a picture taking? He felt the need to reconnect, and he did. He wanted to feel again the warm embrace of his brods, which he got. He wanted to belong and be in the picture, and he was welcomed.

            I was told later that three days after our fellowship, he entered the hospital for an emergency operation.

            I did not know Brod Jake before the fellowship. But talking with him even for a short while, I was naturally drawn to him. He was not trying to impress. He was honest in his expressions. In short, he was a very likeable brod. I had plans to give him some assignments in our run-up to our Diamond Jubilee celebrations in July.

            I was therefore shocked to hear about his sudden demise. So, I requested Brod Ed Baldoria who was also in Los Banos to make sure that we get to honor him for the last time with these final rites.

            Death has always the capacity to shock and astound, even when expected. Even those of us who are beginning to get old and joke about being in the pre-departure area are shocked by the loss of a loved one when it finally happens. We can philosophize about it and write poems saying that “Death be not proud”. We can even look forward to it by saying that we will finally join our Heavenly Father. We can accept its inevitability because we know that we live on borrowed time.

            But we can never avoid the deep chasm that it creates among the bereaved, the feelings of deep loss that never end. We can never be too strong to overcome the power of grief to silence us and let us suffer in remembrance. There is always that whisper and clamor within to bring back what has left. In other words, unlike death, grief never ends. There is no closure. And because of that, we must learn to live with it through the years like a scar that forever marks our lives.

            I recall the words of a Yale professor and best selling author of a book titled How we Die when he confessed how he was marked by the death of his mother: “My mother died of colon cancer one week after my eleventh birthday, and that fact has shaped my life. All that I have become and much that I have not become, I trace directly or indirectly to her death.”

            Indeed, if we look deep into our own lives we will realize that we have been defined by what we have lost. So, we should live bravely with that emptiness and pain that are ushered by the death of a loved one. We should not be ashamed to grieve. We should allow time to define the landscape of our lives like craters on the moon because grief has the power to purify and transform our lives.

            I remember that time when President Clinton lost his mother, the only loving creature that sustained him through a difficult childhood into the ambitions of his adult years. There was an uproar in America when he had to leave immediately after the funeral for a long-scheduled summit meeting in Europe. The critics charged that summits come and go but a mother’s death comes only once in one’s lifetime. He would be a better president, the critics said, if he allowed grief to define his soul a little longer.

            For us in the UP Beta Sigma Fraternity, we share the loss of your loved one Brod Jake because he is a brother. We tend to agree with the Negroes of America that death is a homecoming, not the end of the road. For us, that home is Beta Sigma Fraternity. We remember our brothers wherever they may be. In that sense they never die. But the burning embers of grief that come with the death of every brother strengthens our fraternal bonds. So we recognize that link and symbiosis between the living and the dead – a living chain that connects us through the pathways of eternity.

            Life may be short and temporary but we believe that Beta Sigmans like Brod Jake are like diamonds. They are forever.

Brod, we know that you are up there watching us. Mabuhay ka!

BrodVic delivers the 3rd eulogy for a fallen brod in 2 weeks...

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Some Pictures from the Final Rites...

The unmistakable sign by the passage hall.

Eventually, the relatives decide at the last minute to hold the Betan Rites prior to their own.

Well-wishes from the Chinese community, of which Brod JakeT was a prominent member.

Last minute preparations just prior to the start of the Final Rites.

Brod Ruben Pascual UPD'76, as emcee, coordinates with the Doctor-son of Brod JakeT.

Such beautiful outpouring of sympathy for the well-loved Brod.

The family members react with amusement when Brod VicR mentions Brod JakeT got lost on his way to the UPLB gathering on Dec.03.  The Doctor-son (in glasses) apparently had a role in it!

And the mood for the rest of the relatives and guests turn serious for the rest of the eulogy!

Brod Rico Arranz hands over the Certificate of Enshrinement to wife, Lita.

And wife Lita says she never expected the Betan Final Rites to be such, and thanks the brothers

present profusely.  She wishes she knew the brods more when Brod JakeT was still alive.

Brod Atong Labadan UPLB'53, proudly shows a copy of the graduation pic of Brod JakeT to wife, Lita.

"From dust we came, and to dust we return."

Farewell, beloved Brod Jake!!!